Sunday Night Blues

Sunday night seems like the perfect time to address my overwhelming anxiety. Sometimes I think I am a total basket-case and I seriously need to go to the doctor and get medication. Other times, I think I am a typical woman because every one of my friends is the same way. So either women are completely messed up in the 21st century or I am only friends with neurotic, obsessive compulsive Type A females…which now that I type this seems quite possible. I tend to keep my anxiety to myself because I just worry about ridiculous things. Sunday nights are always the worst and I usually only get about an hour of sleep. No amount of list making is going to clear my mind enough to rest. I just think about everything that has to get done on Monday morning. Then I start to think about my schedule for the week and I start to panic about getting it all done. I want to cry on Sunday nights. I also do not talk too much about my anxiety because on a deeper level, sometimes I think my anxiety HELPS me in my current profession. I have strict time lines and I always make them. I might rip my hair out and feel sick but I make the deadlines. Just this week there was a major project due that we had to collaborate on with other staff. I was the only staff who completed it. There were some who didn’t even start! The fact that they have one day to complete a project makes me anxious for them! I am always early to work and always have everything ready on time. Is it worth it though if I am a nervous mess and lose sleep? Does everyone feel this type of pressure in their everyday lives?  Am I too hard on myself? Should I try medication? Sometimes I think I need it and other times I think that women try to do everything and we are our own worst enemies.

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